Clive and Sue’s Lap of The USA 2011
25th July, We made quite good progress today considering the dodgy start. we needed to get the the wheels balanced on Colin’s Jeep, kindly loaned to us after the debacle with the rent car, we didn’t want to do a lap of the USA with a vibrating steering wheel, my fillings are not what they were. If only I’d had previous employment with the British Coal Board, we could have kept the wobble and then sued the BCB for vibration white finger, the opportunities one misses through life really stack up the older you get, ho hum, another one bites the dust.
The rent car though was arranged nearly 3 months previously, I even went to the rental office 3 days previously to get the paperwork done, but they said “don’ t worry it only takes a couple of minutes anyway”. Yeah right ! they didn’t mention the half hour line though did they? Which occurs every Monday morning by all accounts, maybe they forgot. By the time my turn came, it transpired my month long deal “including all taxes and fees” did not include insurance which was MORE than the rental! At this point I lost interest and prepared to cancel the trip.
I phoned Sue and she agreed, the equivalent of £1000 for 4 weeks insurance was insane. I walked back to Brompton Lane it was only about 2 miles , it was stinking hot mind. Although the Enterprise guys did offer me a lift. I hung around waiting for a quarter of an hour, then thought bugger it I would be half way home now and a good walk is my favorite way of clearing out ones psyche. Hence the need for a second shower that morning.
I skyped Emma our daughter who we had been staying with for the last couple of weeks. She was at work and the only reason we go to the USA these days. As well as her and Colin’s twins I suppose and told her we hadn’t gone. She came back with the plan to use the Jeep. A smashing idea and we could give them the rent money. Perfect. The Jeep was their spare car, or rather the spare, spare car. These Americans hey?
We found ourselves in Clarksville Tn for the first night, I don’t know if it’s the one in the Monkey’s song but it’s about 400 miles from Charlotte, I feel at least on schedule maybe a bit ahead. That alone is jolly impressive, starting out 4 hours after the planed departure. I did think this could change though as Sue has to “do herself up” before we can get breakfast. You know women, all that time constantly re-modeling and general buggering about, with all that stuff they carry with them, the brews and ungences that keep the chemical industries share price in the “Footsie top 100”. Perhaps I could do the valve clearances on the Jeep whilst she’s doing her stuff?
I must say she drove well though especially through the many cloud bursts we encountered. We saw more than 6 damaged cars in 3 separate accidents in Tennessee . One berk left the road and crashed into a tree at the bottom of a ditch, another twatted into the central barrier.oh yeah and a dead deer at the side of the road. We decided to leave road kill to the chaps on “Top Gear”
I should mention the steak we ate to-night, phowaa! “Logan’s Road House”. What a dump, peanut shells all over the floor, packed to the rafters with all manner of folk, plenty of sodding babies as well. A 30 minute table wait for Christ’s sake! It must be all right , these waits for a table are a nuisance and a recommendation at the same time I suppose. This was on the traditionally quiet Monday, what’s it like on a Friday? It was good though, extremely good, fillet mignon medium rare, melted in the mouth. You could bring a toothless pensioner here and they could chew meat thats how perfect it was. I don’t know how Sue’s was, “medium to well” I’m afraid, the way only the criminally insane eat steak.
We spent $62 on gas, 10 on drink, 11 @ Burger King , 50@ Logan’s, 91 for the Comfort inn, and the 40 for the wheel balance. Phew $253 on the first day!